Could your earlier experiences have led to your addiction?

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Many people with addictions report a traumatic event or period in their lives.  For too many people, this trauma happened in their early childhoods.

While some therapy clients  talk of physical, emotional or sexual abuse,  others downplay the  trauma of being neglected  - both physically or emotionally.  People say “That’s just how it was back then”, but that doesn’t  acknowledge the impact of such experiences on a vulnerable, developing child.

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Children develop ways to cope

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Children find many ways to cope with abuse and neglect from those who should care for them.  They might become, quiet and withdrawn; learn to be compliant and pleasing; be naughty and rowdy; or find solace in food or any activities that keep them out of harm’s way.

These strategies often work – maybe for a number of years.  Sometimes people genuinely seem to forget how difficult things were for them.  Then something happens in their adult life that either triggers old feelings and memories or is just too overwhelming to cope with.  They can’t use their old childhood strategies to soothe themselves and they were never taught healthy ways to deal with difficult feelings and stressful situations. 

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How do you deal with your difficult feelings?

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Understandably, many people turn to more ‘adult’ ways to help them cope such as alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, pornography, shopping and internet use.  These strategies do help them to feel better for a while.  But when the good effects wear off, they are left with debts, shame, tattered relationships and other unwanted consequences that leave them feeling overwhelmed and worthless yet again.  With no other ways of helping themselves, of course, they turn again to what gives them relief:  alcohol, gambling etc. 

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Why are these things addictive?

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These substances and behaviours are addictive specifically because they work so quickly and effectively to change how we feel.  They activate our brain’s reward system so we just want to do it more often, in greater quantities or in more extreme forms.

Even for a person well cared for in childhood, a prolonged or intense traumatic event in adulthood, when they felt helpless to save themselves, they may well led to symptoms of PTSD.  This can feel so uncontrollable and without explanation that, understandably, people will do whatever is within their reach to help them feel better.  This is likely to be something that quickly and dramatically changes how they feel – which is inevitably something with a propensity to cause addiction.

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Psychological therapy will work with trauma and addiction together

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So if a person is struggling with both trauma and addiction, it is really important that we take all of this into account.    By seeing you as a whole person we can start to really overcome those obstacles so that you can start to move towards the confident and satisfying life you want for yourself.