Office: Upper Chapel, Brecon. LD3 9RG Tel: 07301 202091
Effective Therapy for Enduring Change
Serving Brecon and surrounding areas and UK-wide online
Bernadette Bustin CPsychol; AFBPsS
Chartered Psychologist
Counselling Psychologist
Therapy Near Sennybridge
Do you think you might need help but find you don’t know where to turn?
Are you feeling alone with your problems? Is it difficult to talk confidentially because 'everyone knows everyone'? Does it feel hard to have your difficulties taken seriously?
Living in a small town ...........
Maybe you live in a beautiful location and you might be part of a close-knit, friendly community. But this also means that it is much harder to access help and talking about problems to people you know can actually be very challenging. Shame, self-criticism and anxiety often go hand-in-hand with addiction which makes it even more difficult to talk about.
Everyone does it, it’s not really a problem, is it?
When it comes to alcohol, we know that heavy drinking is often seen as normal in our rural Welsh communities. Actually, our close-knit communities often hide the problems that individuals are facing with alcohol. We love our sport, and drinking when we watch, or after playing a game is part of what we do. But this makes speaking up about a problem really difficult. People are often not taken seriously. If you are brave enough to mention it, friends often dismiss it. People can even get a reputation as the one who always ‘goes over the top’ but friends still don’t really see it as a problem.
Not just alcohol addiction
Maybe you don’t feel you have a problem with alcohol but instead have developed a ‘habit’ with cocaine, cannabis or prescription drugs. Although, for most people with a drug addiction, alcohol is also a problem. You might have found that in recent years it is much easier to get hold of drugs like cocaine, cannabis and ketamine, even in some of the most remote and rural areas. Something to make the weekend go well, or just a line to help you get over that social anxiety, can quite easily become an unwanted habit.
It could be that you know you have a drug problem but speaking up about it just feels too shaming. Somehow, heavy drinking is accepted but getting addicted to cocaine , for example, is stigmatized and not understood. Perhaps you really just don’t know where to turn or even if you need to be concerned at all.
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Are pornography and gambling real addictions?
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We can become addicted to anything that has a rapid effect on the reward system in our brains. So, yes, pornography, gambling, internet use, spending, etc can all have this effect. We can forget that behaviours, as well as things we take into our bodies, can create this change. Because this isn’t always understood, it can be difficult to realise that we have a problem and hard for us to speak to others about it.
Could therapy really help?
​Absolutely. Psychological therapy is not just a cosy chat. You and I will both work hard together to understand what is holding you in your habit or addiction and then create a plan for your way forward. You will be an active agent in resolving this issue. Having an addiction can make us feel helpless, as if our ability to choose for ourselves has been taken away. Therapy aims to put you ‘back in the driving seat’ of your life.
Surely I just need enough willpower......
So often we believe that we should just be able to stop these habits and compulsions on our own. Yes, commitment to change and strong intentions will be important. But willpower can only ever be a short-term solution. It has to be applied again and again whenever we are faced with the urge towards our habit. The part of our brain responsible for willpower actually gets fatigued – like an over-used muscle. So resisting your habit just becomes a repeating battle with yourself.
Through therapy we can develop a much more enduring resolution that keeps you moving forward instead of remaining in that ongoing inner conflict.
My job or relationship could be at risk if other people knew
Sometimes our minds exaggerate how other people would react to knowing about our addiction. And, unfortunately, sometimes our expectations are accurate. However, I have found that most relationships, that are otherwise strong, can survive disclosure of an addiction when the person affected is actively taking responsibility for changing. Some employers can, likewise, be understanding. However, some employers cannot take the risk of staff being affected by drug or alcohol use.
The cold truth is that, if you do not take steps to change, the addiction is very likely to get stronger and there will come a point when you will no longer be able to keep it secret. Then it will be completely ‘out of your hands’.
Discrete and confidential
With very few caveats, all therapy is confidential. Additionally, my office is located on a quiet road just beyond the eastern edge of the SENTA training area near Mynydd Epynt. Close enough to Sennybridge to be convenient and distant enough to be discrete.